Guide to Happiness

20 Tips for Bringing More Happiness into Your Life

1. Live Mindfully and Appreciate Life’s Little Things.

It’s not that nothing good ever happens around us; the secret of happiness is to recognize the beautiful moments and occasions for joy—and to do that, we need to truly perceive them. They’re the little moments: the feeling of sunshine on your skin, a delicious meal, or the smile of a passerby that brightens your day. Only if we’re mindful can we notice these joyful moments. In Zen, mindfulness means living in the present moment without judging it, calming the mind, acting with focus, not striving to achieve anything, and being independent of everything.

“Many people miss small joys while waiting for the big happiness in vain.”
– Pearl S. Buck

2. Live in the Here and Now. We constantly expect that someday in the future we’ll be happy – yet that future never arrives.

Our minds wander back to the past or race ahead to the future, and we waste time worrying or investing energy in things that are gone or may never happen. We focus heavily on memories of the past or thoughts of the future. Yet the only conscious experience we truly have, in which our reality takes place, is the here and now. Everything we really have is just this one moment. Consciousness, composure, and contentment can only ever be found in the present—and that’s what we need to be happy.

“Mindfulness is paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.”
– Jon Kabat-Zinn

3. Be Aware of Your Thoughts and Language.

As Benjamin Disraeli said: “Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think.” Our words reflect our thoughts. Consequently, our language framework determines our scope of action. Free yourself from words like “must,” “basically,” “maybe,” “sort of,” “possibly,” “in principle,” and “try.” Avoid using the subjunctive and negative prefixes. Strive to use positive phrasing without “not” or negative prefixes like “un-.” For instance, “not bad” becomes “good.” Can you confidently say to yourself, “Yes, I feel really great because I’m happy!”? Train your language, and you’ll transform your mindset. That’s what NLP is all about!

“Happiness is not a gift of the gods, but the fruit of inner attitude.”
– Erich Fromm

4. Focus on Your Strengths.

As everything has both a positive and a negative side, each of us has strengths and weaknesses. What you focus on will strongly affect how you feel in life. At any given moment, about 40 million bits of information per second barrage our brains, but we consciously process only about 2,000 bits per second – and which 2,000 those are depends on our focus. Research in Positive Psychology has shown that focusing on our character strengths and using them well increases well-being and happiness. If you choose a path that aligns with your natural or cultivated abilities, it’s not only easier but also more successful.

5. Find Goals and Passions

…that energize and excite you, so that you can get into a state of flow. Flow is when a person becomes completely absorbed in what they’re doing—time and surroundings slip away. In that moment, our feelings, intentions, and thoughts align. This could happen while playing sports, meditating, gaming, or working on a meaningful project—any time you’re engaged in something that suits your strengths, offers purpose, and fulfills you. That’s why it’s so important to know what you want and what drives you. Follow your own path, because only that path will feel natural to you. If you understand your strengths, you can apply them to reach your fullest potential, remain highly productive, and be happy all the while. Don’t you want to take the first step and figure out what you really want and what genuinely brings you joy?

“Human happiness comes less from big pieces of good fortune, which seldom happen, than from the small advantages that occur every day.”
– Benjamin Franklin

6. Take Time for Yourself.

In an ever-faster-paced world, we’re constantly bombarded with stimuli, always expected to be reachable, often forgetting to pause and pay attention to our body’s signals. How do I feel right now? What thoughts occupy me? What’s important to me? What does my body want? It’s not only acceptable but truly necessary to take time for yourself and do what feels good. After all, you are the most important person in your life.

7. Be Grateful (Attitude of Gratitude)

for what you have. Nothing in life is guaranteed. We aren’t unhappy because of what we don’t have; we’re unhappy because we fail to appreciate what we do have.

“The grateful do not complain, but the complainers are never grateful.”
– Francis Bacon

8. Meditate.

Meditation can help you organize your thoughts, calm down, and enjoy the present moment. It fosters inner balance, peace, and focus, reducing feelings of fear or stress, allowing body and mind to unwind, and empowering you to face the day with greater strength. A study from Massachusetts General Hospital demonstrated this effect through brain scans of 16 participants: after eight weeks of meditation training, the areas of the brain associated with stress processing were smaller.

9. Develop a Belief in Self-Efficacy.

You’re the one steering the direction of your life. You’re the active subject in your story. You make the decisions, and no one else can dictate how you feel—unless you let them. A strong self-efficacy belief is one of the fundamental traits of resilient people. You’re the captain at your life’s helm.

No recognition means no self-awareness; no self-awareness means no personal growth; no personal growth means no better results. You and your life are the sum of all your decisions!

“Happy is not the one who seems to others so, but the one who considers himself to be so.”
– Lucius Annaeus Seneca

10. Never Doubt.

Above all, never doubt yourself. No self-condemnation, no self-abasement, no self-rejection. Doubt robs you of the energy to do what you want. It isn’t always easy to shed your doubts, but it’s certainly possible. Ask yourself: Where do these doubts come from? Are they warranted? Are they still relevant? What would other people say about this? And most importantly… what would you do if these doubts didn’t exist? What would you be capable of? Is it worth giving up on your dreams because of fear?

“Happiness belongs to those who are sufficient unto themselves. For all external sources of happiness and enjoyment are, in their very nature, highly uncertain, precarious, ephemeral, and subject to chance.”
– Arthur Schopenhauer

11. Love It – Change It – Leave It.

Make the best of a situation by accepting it (love it). If that’s not possible, change it (change it). If that still isn’t possible, your only option is to remove yourself from it (leave it). If there are things or people in your life that drag you down—let them go. Close that chapter and look forward. It may be hard at first to cut ties, and you might only realize later how much of yourself you were giving up. Imagining what it would be like to be free from your burdens is nothing compared to actually experiencing that sense of freedom. If you truly can’t leave it, then you’re back where you started: love it—make the best of it. Integrating this little mantra into your life clears away negative situations practically on its own. We can’t change the wind, but we can adjust our sails.

“Happiness in life doesn’t consist in having little or no difficulties, but in overcoming them all triumphantly and gloriously.”
– Carl Hilty

12. Seek Personal Growth.

Happiness is defined as a shift to a better state. By developing yourself, you literally become the creator of your own happiness. We often hold on to things because it’s simpler or more comfortable, but once we leave our comfort zone, our possibilities become endless.

13. Never Regret.

Learn instead. The past is completely beyond your control. Worrying about it and feeling regret will change nothing. Accept mistakes and use them to do better next time.

14. Make Others Happy.

Try to do one altruistic act each day. Everything you give out comes back to you. Spend at least two hours per week just helping other people. This brings more happiness than using that time solely for yourself because happiness is the only thing that doubles when shared.

15. Pay Attention to Your Nutrition.

Eating and drinking are necessities—but how and what you consume makes the difference. Your body is the foundation for everything you do. How much energy you have, how good you feel, and ultimately how far you can go in life all depend partly on how you fuel yourself. If you never fill your car up, or fill it with the wrong fuel, you can’t be surprised when it doesn’t run, right? So maintain a balanced diet and drink enough water.

16. Practice Anticipatory Joy.

Anticipating pleasure triggers the same positive reactions in the body as enjoying an event that’s already happened. Studies show that looking forward to something reduces stress hormones and boosts the immune system.

“People don’t just want to be happy, they want to be happier than other people — and that is so difficult, because we think others are happier than they really are.”
– Charles-Louis de Montesquieu

17. Exercise.

Physical activities like endurance sports or sex release euphoria-inducing hormones, making them some of the best ways to boost well-being and alleviate depression. Getting at least half an hour of activity a day not only improves your health but also has a powerful effect on your outlook on life. Pair dancing is especially beneficial: exercise releases endorphins, and physical contact triggers oxytocin. Studies show that depressed people who exercise regularly are less likely to relapse after six months compared to those treated only with medication.

18. Nurture Your Social Relationships,

since they make you happy. People who feel alone live under constant pressure to face life’s challenges single-handedly. Stress hormones like cortisol may be released, which can weaken the immune system. Meanwhile, people in love are highly elated—almost the same brain circuitry is activated as in addicts. The ventral tegmental area at the top of the brainstem floods the brain and body with “feel-good” chemicals. In general, touches lasting more than 20 seconds cause the release of oxytocin and the body’s own endorphins. Physical closeness fosters harmony, normalizes heart rate and breathing, and relaxes muscles.

When it comes to personal relationships, quality is more important than quantity. Reflect on who the key people in your life are and why. Let them know you recognize their value. Make time for them and give them your undivided attention now and then.

“Finding people who feel and sense with us – that’s probably the greatest happiness on Earth.”
– Carl Spitteler

19. Get Enough Sleep.

Plenty of sleep ensures that you’re less susceptible to negative feelings and memories the next day. These are processed by the amygdala in the brain, whereas positive and neutral memories are processed by the hippocampus (the memory center). Unfortunately, too little sleep impacts the hippocampus more than the amygdala.

20. Smile.

When we laugh, over 100 muscles in our body get involved, releasing endorphins— yet for some people, this might feel like a daunting effort. But a simple smile often suffices to uplift not only your own mood but also the mood of those around you. Your thoughts follow your body’s physiology. You’ll notice it’s nearly impossible to smile and say, “I’m in such a bad mood today!” There’s even a branch of science called “gelotology,” devoted to studying the effects of laughter and smiling on the human body.

My tips are just a starting point to set you on the path to a happier life. Beyond understanding how and why these things work, it’s ultimately about putting them into action.

Finding what truly makes you happy, developing the right mindset, and following through—that’s what you can learn in our “Happiness Camp” taught by psychologist and resilience coach Joerg-Friedrich Gamper.