12‑ The Wisdom of Imaginary Allies

»Even a dwarf sees farther than a giant when he stands on the giant’s shoulders.«

For the realisation of your dreams and goals an inexhaustible wealth of resources is available to you! You have already become acquainted with a large part of these resources. Now I would like to establish with you a new, very powerful additional resource. If you use it correctly in your life it will give you tremendous power. It will allow you to adopt new perspectives and face your decisions, tasks and challenges with greater wisdom. For some people it will not be easy at first to master this instrument because a high degree of imagination is required. But you can train that imagination very easily and then use it in other areas of life as well. In fact, we have already used this ability in most exercises. Once you are accustomed to your imaginary allies, they can be at your disposal for your entire life. There is nothing mystical or even mysterious about this. Rather, with this method you can once again use the tremendous, fascinating possibilities of our brain.

Wisdom originates in the ability to describe the world from different perspectives and thus to understand its connections.

I came up with this idea a few years ago while preparing for my exam in developmental psychology. I was working on the development of morality as my specialisation topic when I read about an experiment that amazed me. Participants in the experiment were presented with a social dilemma and asked what they would do next and why. A typical example of such a dilemma is the Heinz dilemma:

Heinz has a wife he loves very much. One day his wife falls ill with a disease that is so far incurable. A young pharmacist, however, invents a new drug that could save her life. The pharmacist wants appropriate compensation for his years of research and demands a very high price for the medication. Although Heinz asks all his friends, acquaintances and his bank for money he cannot raise the required sum. He knows that if nothing happens soon his wife will die. What would you do? Would you break into the pharmacy and steal the medicine? Why? Why not?

Decisive for judging the current level of moral development is less whether the participants say they would steal the drug or not, but rather how they justify their course of action. On the basis of these justifications the participants could be assigned to different stages of moral development. The truly remarkable thing in this experiment happened when the subjects were asked to imagine that they were very famous and wise philosophers. Suddenly the participants’ answers reflected a clearly higher level of morality. Apparently, the act of “putting oneself into another person” also enabled access to further resources of that person. When you send different signals to your brain than usual, when you believe different things than usual, when you display different attitudes, then your brain will present you with different solutions than usual! Therefore make sure you use the technique I am about to reveal!

1. Selection of Mentors

The idea is to find imaginary allies for yourself. They can be teachers, mentors, role models or your favourite stars or heroes—men or women, old or young—who impress you or from whom you would very much like to learn. In thought we will gather them at an imaginary table and hold a conference with them.

Take a moment to think of people who, in your eyes, lead or have led a successful life. These can be people you know from television, books, your circle of acquaintances or seminars.

When making your selection, make sure that you know at least a few events from each person’s life. Whether you have read an autobiography or know the person very well personally is not decisive. You should be able to feel yourself into this person, to sense which problems and obstacles this person has cleared out of the way to become what she has become. It also makes sense if you can answer a large part of the following questions about the person:

What is the person’s name?
What does this person look like? (You can of course create a mental image of the person.)
What worldview does this person have?
In what time and under what circumstances did she live?
What was the special achievement of her life?
In what does this person’s success consist?
What did she stand up for?
What was important to her?
What demands did this person place on her life?
How did she solve problems and overcome obstacles?
How did this person learn?

It does not matter if this person is already dead. Even dead people live on in our thoughts and wishes. In this book we have seen plenty of examples of that. If you absolutely want to, you can even take fictional characters or heroes from legends and stories such as Robin Hood, Peter Pan or Winnetou.

Now choose 5‑7 mentors. Let your intuition guide you. For some of the people focus on those who are successful in the field in which you too want success. Also choose at least one person of the opposite sex so that this part is represented. If you do not find your mentors right away, rummage a little in your past. Run up and down your time‑line. Think of books or television films. Who inspired or excited you? From whom do you believe you can learn something?

My mentors:

Once you have decided on your mentors, get a visual image of them. If you have not yet developed this image internally, obtain an actual picture to memorise. I have, by the way, hung these pictures on my wall so I have the feeling that my heroes are always around me to inspire, comfort and motivate me.

Furthermore, gather as much information as you can. Do not simply read the biographies; instead, while reading, put yourself in your heroes’ shoes. Act as if you were in their place and wanted to achieve the goals your hero wanted to achieve as part of his mission. Perform his actions and experience yourself in his role.

2. The Seating Arrangement

Now set up an inner room where these mentors together with you can meet regularly. Place a large table in the middle—perhaps comparable to King Arthur’s round table with the twelve most honourable knights. Make sure everyone can see everyone else and you sit among them. Then place each of your mentors in a specific seat. Simply trust your feeling. However you think is right is right.

Directly opposite you there should also be a large video screen in case your mentors want to convey experiences from their lives or information on the current topic in that way.

3. Switching Perceptual Positions

I will now introduce three different perceptual positions that allow us to perceive our world from three different angles. This information will be very useful when it comes to putting yourself in the position of a mentor.

In the first position you experience the world through your own eyes. You are yourself. You can feel the objects you touch with your hands. You hear your voice as you are used to.

If you want to know how others perceive you, you can switch to the second position. You step into another person and see yourself through that person’s eyes. From there you see your entire body as someone in that position would see it. You hear your voice as if from a tape recorder, just as outsiders hear it. And at the same time you feel as another person. You basically slip into that other person’s role. There are people who can notice changes in another person before that person notices them himself. Such people live in the second position relative to the other. One can make this experience in team sports—for example, in doubles tennis or other sports where quick reactions are required and it is impossible to communicate verbally or with other signals. Good team‑mates manage to put themselves in their partners’ shoes; they go into the second position and know what their partners will do in the next moment.

The third position is the “Hollywood director.” You see the situation from the outside and are on a meta‑level. You do not identify with yourself. You look at the situation from outside and are dissociated from the feelings of the first position. The ability to go into the third position is important, for example, when you are arguing with someone or having a heated discussion. Then you can go into the third position and gain distance from the feelings of the first position. However, you have the feelings of an observer and all the resources available to an observer. That allows you a new perception and assessment of the overall situation. The scene is interesting to you not because you are personally involved but because, as the Hollywood director, that is your job.

These are only three possible perceptual positions. There are many more positions and you will even create some new ones in the form of imaginary allies. When we change perceptual positions the question arises how many of our filters or completely individual perception patterns we can leave behind when we switch. How much of the real Stephan Landsiedel do I take with me into the third position? And how many of my values, habits and beliefs do I take along? This is a matter of training and practice. When I first went to the third position I felt only a tiny bit away from myself. Today, when I go to the third position, I am someone completely different; I am miles away from Stephan Landsiedel. I find his mishaps and failures terribly amusing yet at the same time I have such a good overview of what needs to be done that I can give him really good advice.

4. The Conference

Let us now turn to the conference itself:

a) The agenda: Somewhere in the room there is a big board. Please write the agenda on it. Proceed very systematically, number the points and write them down one after the other. Enter the conference room only when you have a clear idea of what you want to know from your mentors.

b) Opening the meeting: As soon as you enter the conference room, the mentors already present stop their private conversations. A fanfare sounds and all eyes turn eagerly to you. Then open the conference by describing your current situation to your mentors as precisely as possible. Begin roughly with the words:

“My highly esteemed, dear mentors! I thank you for appearing so numerous and punctually in order to help me deal with my tasks and problems. Today I would like to hear your opinion on the subject … My starting situation is … / My problem / resistance / challenge / task is that… I now ask each of you to describe your view of the problem, taking into account the numerous experiences of your lives, and to give me guidance on the solution. Mr …, you have managed to help millions of people lead an enthusiastic life through your seminars, tape programmes and books. In doing so you have become a personality who treats other people lovingly and with respect. Would you please use your experiences to help me with my current task and at the same time enrich my personality with your strengths?”

c) Switching position: After asking a person to give his viewpoint, switch your perceptual position. Put yourself in the position of this person and step out of your own body. Shift into that person’s personality. Become aware of the reference experiences you now have and the knowledge you have acquired in dealing with problems. Consider as many of the methods discussed in other chapters as possible to associate yourself into the other person. Watch video clips, with you in the role of this person. Also change your posture, breathing and voice. When you have immersed yourself as deeply as possible in this person, assess the situation and speak roughly the following text:

“Dear … [insert your first name here], based on my numerous experiences in dealing with personal challenges I assess your problem as… (large / medium / small / very small). I judge your situation… If I were you, I would… do this. In my opinion this has the best prospect of success and at the same time preserves the integrity of your person. If you have further questions or need information, I am at your disposal. Otherwise I would now like to pass the word to my esteemed neighbour on my right.”

Now return to your own position. Let the words of your first mentor sink in. Can you understand these statements? Do you need further information? Then ask a question and again take the position of your first mentor. If you want to leave his statements as they are, say: “Dear …, I thank you for your cooperation and will consider your words very carefully.”

Then address the next mentor in a similar manner and slip into the position of the second mentor, repeating the question‑and‑answer process. After you have heard all your mentors once, thank them all again and ask the meta‑voice for a summary of the statements so far. These statements are written on the blackboard by the meta‑person. Then set a time frame for the discussion and declare it open. You yourself take over the chairmanship. Your tasks are:

precise formulation of the problem
passing on important facts and circumstances
delimitation of the decision‑making scope
setting the time frame
giving the floor (in the order of requests to speak)
controlling adherence to speaking time

5. The Minutes

Afterwards the meta‑person summarises the results of the discussion on the white board. Transfer these results from the imaginary white board to a real sheet so you can collect them and recall them when necessary. Hold these sessions more often and experience how your mentors become ever more vivid and develop quite individual characteristics. At the same time you open yourself to their greatness and will be able to use your powers even more creatively. This exercise will fire your imagination and it will not be uncommon for you to feel a breath of the spirit of these great thinkers, leaders, researchers, explorers or entrepreneurs.