Conversational Hypnosis with Just One Word

Marian Zefferer demonstrates the power of language in the series "The L in NLP".

What is Conversational Hypnosis?

Most people associate hypnosis with someone having their eyes closed, half-asleep, lying there as if cataleptic. That's why many have adopted the term "conversational hypnosis" instead of just "hypnosis" when referring to "eyes-open hypnosis." This form can be used in parenting, sales, or during a casual chat with a friend at a café. We spice up "normal everyday conversations" with hypnotic principles to enhance our effectiveness.

What are hypnotic principles?
There are many hypnotic principles, but ultimately it’s always about becoming effective in communication. The question asked is: “How can I become more influential with what I say?” One such principle is about creating suggestions based on the second perceptual position. We use words that trigger the right associations in our conversation partner. For instance, if the person doesn’t know that hypnosis can also mean “eyes-open hypnosis,” we’d use the term “conversational hypnosis,” as this phrase – even if unfamiliar – triggers the intended association in the brain.

"Words are the most powerful drug used by mankind."

Joseph Rudyard Kipling

British writer and poet

Another principle concerns repetition. Things that are repeated are easier to remember and generally more effective. Additional principles involve resistance or the use of vivid language. All of these principles ultimately aim to make us more effective in our interactions. Which other principles exist and how they influence us will be covered in future editions of the series "The L in NLP".

How do I hypnotize someone in conversation?

The truth? We do it all the time. Ultimately, hypnosis is about effectiveness. If someone agrees to go to the movies, we’ve been effective. But we also know situations where this doesn’t work. For example, when our best friend feels miserable and we try to cheer her up with words – yet her mood doesn’t change. Or when our child gets a bad grade in school, and we try to “convince” them it’s a learning opportunity, but it doesn’t help them feel any better.

Once, I entered a store fully intending to buy something. I had only one question for the salesperson, but the way he spoke to me made me walk out without buying anything – even though I still needed the product! In all these cases, conversational hypnosis can help. How can we be effective in contact – despite or even because of difficult circumstances?

Hypnosis induction with one word

Hypnotic conversation techniques and language patterns deal with questions, phrases, sentence structures, connotations, and more. This article focuses on "one-word hypnosis inductions" – words that, on their own, can create a shift in conversation.

The word that changes your counterpart’s mindset

“I can’t do this,” says 14-year-old Paul, throwing his math book on the floor. The teacher ignores the fact that throwing schoolbooks is not allowed and responds: “You can’t do it yet.” According to studies by Carol Dweck, this is a magic word. The word "yet" implies that things can be different in the future, without adding anything else.

I’m not competent enough.
→ You’re not competent yet.

I’m too slow.
→ You’re still slow for now.

I just don’t understand this.
→ You don’t understand it yet.

Marian Zefferer, MSc, is a psychologist, NLP trainer, and podcast host of “The Psychology of Words: Moving, Influencing, Shaping with Words,” as well as co-host of the “World of NLP Podcast.” His superpower? Turning complex content into enlightening Aha moments. With his passion for online didactics, he makes tough topics feel like ripe fruit ready to be picked. As a WON Partner, he regularly offers webinars & trainings at World of NLP on storytelling, NLP & didactics.

Combined with the hypnotic principle of repetition – the teacher uses the word "yet" several times an hour – this intervention, according to Dweck, leads to what's called a growth mindset. A self-concept where children eventually come to believe: “I can change.” This word can also be used in self-talk as a form of self-suggestion. Instead of saying, “I’m not musical,” one could say, “I’m not musical yet.” The effect is completely different – provided there's an interest in becoming more musical.

Names have power – do you use them?
I was 15 when I read in Dale Carnegie’s book that you should address people by name. I shook my head. That felt completely unnatural. “Bye” sounds normal, but “Bye, Benjamin” sounds like I’m unsure if I remember their name. Weeks later, after Aikido training, I said goodbye to my teacher: “Bye.” He responded, “Bye, Marian.” In that moment, I felt seen and acknowledged – an incredibly powerful feeling triggered by just six additional letters. And that’s the power of names. They grant us identity and build stronger relationships when we use them. From that day on, I started saying goodbye differently. Maybe you’ll try it too.

Jumping from problem to solution
Do you know friends or coworkers who mostly know what they don’t want? Wouldn’t it be fantastic to have a word that shifts them out of their “problem trance” and into a “solution trance”? A word that puts an end to endless talk about what doesn’t work? That word exists – it’s “but rather...?”

“Those who do not know the power of words, cannot know people.” – Confucius

This word creates a new reality – and we can begin to move within it. In this new reality, new thoughts, emotions, and sometimes even beliefs emerge. It’s especially effective when deeper changes are needed. Next time a friend complains that starting a business is hard, send them straight into a possible future: “Let’s assume you’ve successfully started your business... How has your life improved? What do you appreciate most about it?”

I don’t want to be overweight.
→ But rather...?

I don’t want to be employed forever.
→ But rather...?

I don’t want to be alone.
→ But rather – what do you want instead?

Whether as a word or phrase, it helps break out of negative thought loops and build new mental models. These are often the first step toward significant improvement. Only when your brain knows what the desired state looks like, can it move toward it.

Assume you're rich and enlightened
How can you instantly shift someone’s thoughts and mindset? Exactly – by triggering a new mental movie in their brain using the word “assume.”

»Assume your problem is already solved – how did you do it?
»Assume you’re already athletic – how would your daily life change?
»Assume you’re well-read – what would you be reading?
»Assume you’re rich and enlightened...

Hypnosis is a relationship phenomenon
There were once hypnosis researchers who claimed that hypnosis only works in about 50% of cases. This idea stems from studies where, for example, a recorded hypnosis tape was played, and only some participants exhibited hypnotic phenomena (like catalepsy, visual hallucinations, etc.). But what is far more powerful than a tape is relationship. Numerous studies show that when we like someone, we’re more willing to comply with their request. This principle is even used in hostage negotiations. The negotiator’s first goal is to build a relationship with the perpetrator before exerting influence.

This is also true in hypnosis. One word that can create connection is the little word “we.”
Take a look at the comparison:

You have difficulty accepting other opinions. Try to…
→ We often have difficulty accepting other opinions. In such a case, one could…

It’s important to get through this with as little effort as possible.
→ We both want to get through this with as little effort as possible.

You can do it.
→ We can do it together.

Admittedly, using “we” is a more advanced technique and can be misused. For example, when someone says “We need to tighten our belts,” but actually only means their audience—not themselves.

Conversational Hypnosis in Everyday Life

To summarize: we are constantly “hypnotizing” each other. If we want to communicate more effectively, hypnotic principles can support us. As a small first step into “hypnotic language,” words such as: assume, we, yet, but rather, or simply addressing someone by their name can be helpful. With these, we can create new realities (assume), overcome blocks (yet), transform problems (but rather...), or build connection (name and we).

Assume you started using just one of these words more often in your daily life—how might that affect things? What could change for the better? In which relationship might which word be especially helpful?

As you can see, even written texts can have a hypnotic effect. How text psychology differs from spoken hypnosis will also be explored in future articles of the “The L in NLP” series.