Mentor Technique

How the NLP Mentor Technique connects you with inner wisdom

Sometimes we doubt ourselves. We feel overwhelmed, not good enough, blocked. Maybe we want to write a book, go on an adventure, or change careers – and something inside holds us back. In moments like these, the voices of people who've walked similar paths can help. Mentors who encourage us and give advice from their own experience. Not everyone has a personal mentor by their side. But with the NLP Mentor Technique, we just bring them into our inner world – real, imaginary, or symbolic. Any figure from our imagination can inspire, advise, and strengthen us – even if they've never existed in real life.

The example: Michael and his life topic "Space for himself"

Michael is 37 years old, married, has two kids, and is a team leader in a medium-sized company. When he comes to coaching, he seems friendly but exhausted. His issue: He wants to do more for himself – but always feels controlled by others. Job, family, obligations – everywhere, people expect something from him. "I'm always there for others – but I lose myself in the process," he says. "Whenever I take time for myself, I immediately feel guilty."

Step 1: Choose three mentors and set floor anchors

I invite Michael to choose three inner mentors – people who could help him create more space for himself. After a short moment of thought, he chooses:

• Albert Einstein – as a symbol for creative genius beyond society's expectations.
• Michelle Obama – for clarity, strength, and poise as a family person with her own mission.
• His childhood friend Ben, who always knew exactly what was good for him – and also took it.

I write the names on cards and place them as floor anchors in the room. Michael stands in front of them and says his concern out loud: "I wish I had more space for myself – without guilt, without fear of not being enough for someone. I just don't know how."

Step 2: Get advice from the mentors

First place: Albert Einstein. Michael closes his eyes, imagines being Einstein, feels his attitude, his way of thinking. Then he speaks as Albert: "I never tried to meet the world's expectations. I needed my own space to think, dream, play – that's where creativity comes from. Michael, if you want to give your best, you need time with yourself. Create sacred islands in your everyday life." As a symbol, Einstein gives Michael a little hourglass: "Remember: Time is relative – but time with yourself is absolutely necessary."

Second place: Michelle Obama. Michael straightens up, changes his posture and voice. As Michelle, he says: "I've learned to set boundaries – not out of selfishness, but out of self-respect. Your family doesn't need your self-sacrifice, they need your spark. And that only works if you recharge yourself." She hands him a bracelet with the words "My Time" on it and says: "Wear it – not for the world, but as a commitment to yourself."

Third place: Childhood friend Ben. Michael slips into the relaxed, casual posture of his friend. As Ben, he says: "Hey, bro – you've always been the rock for everyone else. But what about you? You're allowed to just say: I'm out – I'm going to the woods for an hour. And if someone doesn't like it – tough luck. You're not here to lose yourself." Ben symbolically hands him an old, worn-out baseball cap: "Put it on, get going, be yourself. Screw the rest."

Steps 3–7: Integrating the gifts and messages

Michael returns to his starting position. One after the other, he receives the messages from his three mentors – each one connected to a symbolic gift. Einstein's hourglass reminds him that time with yourself isn't a luxury, but a requirement for clarity. Michelle's bracelet stands for his decision to take himself seriously. Ben's baseball cap is his little wink to himself – his free space is his right. Michael takes his time with each figure. When he hands over the cap, he starts to laugh. "That's me—really. I really missed that guy."

Step 8: Receive all the messages together

To wrap up, Michael imagines all three mentors standing in front of him at the same time. I repeat their main messages and he lets them – with his eyes closed – sink in deeply. His face becomes calm, his breathing slows down. He opens his eyes and says: "It feels like I just got permission from my own inner committee to finally be myself."

Step 9: Future Pace

Michael is visibly relieved – and standing tall. In a quick future pace, he imagines himself soon blocking out time in his calendar for "Michael time," saying no – and yes to himself. He leaves the coaching session with a smile – and the baseball cap, at least in spirit, on his head.

"You don't have to know everything yourself – you just need to know who you can ask inside yourself." – NLP mentor format