Calibration

In perception, it is not only important to pay attention to generalities, but also to specifically tune in to the other person individually. NLP rejects the idea of assigning a universal meaning to body language for all people in every situation. Instead, a new concept called calibration has been developed, which puts the individuality of a person at the forefront.

Calibration is the sensory fine-tuning to the behavioral expressions of my fellow human being. Certain internal states correspond to specific external physiologies. When I guide someone through a process, it is useful to know their "physiologies" in order to control the process at any time and know where the other person currently stands.

Calibration is the ability to recognize externally perceivable characteristics and assign them to a particular state. For example, after tuning in to the other person, I can recognize from a subtle change in their face whether a suggestion has been well received or whether further arguments are necessary.

Through precise calibration, I receive feedback on whether my interventions are successful. I gain information about my counterpart so that I can adjust my communication accordingly.

Calibration requires the ability to perceive non-verbal signals accurately and to associate the physiology of internal states with external signs.

Distinction and Tip: Calibration is not pacing. However, a fine perception, as required for calibration, is an important prerequisite for pacing. Calibration initially means that I extract information from the voice, the face, or other bodily reactions. Whether I then mirror (pace) these is a different matter.

Exercises for Calibration

Exercise for Visual Calibration: Guessing People

In groups of three: A, B, and C, about 10 minutes, then switch roles

A thinks for about 45 seconds about a person they like (= Person X). B helps A to recall as vivid and clear a memory of them as possible. B and C calibrate, for example, by observing breathing, facial expression, skin color, etc. (=Physiology).
A thinks for about 45 seconds about a person they do not like (= Person Y). B helps A to recall as vivid and clear a memory of them as possible. B and C calibrate, for example, by observing breathing, facial expression, skin color, etc. (=Physiology).
B asks A the following questions, which A answers by thinking about the respective person, without saying anything. B and C then read the physiology to determine whether it is Person X or Y.

Which person has more temperament?
Which person has darker hair?
Which person is taller/older/heavier/beautiful?
Which person lives farther away?
Which person did you see last?
Which person has the bigger car?
Which person .... ?

B and C continue asking these questions until both can clearly recognize A's nonverbal answer. If you get it completely wrong, go back to steps 1) and 2) and calibrate again.

Exercise for Auditory Calibration

In groups of three: A, B, and C, about 5-10 minutes, then switch roles.

A keeps their eyes closed.
B makes a sound (e.g., snapping fingers, clapping hands, etc.) and then states their name.
C copies the sound from B as accurately as possible and then states their name.
Repeat steps 2) and 3) several times until A believes they can recognize the differences in the sound.
B or C makes the sound without stating their name, and A tries to identify who it was.
B and C try to make their sounds as similar as possible until either A gives up or "wins" and can confidently recognize the small differences.

Exercise for Kinesthetic Calibration

Form small groups of 7-10 people.

A closes their eyes and stretches their hand forward. The others now take turns shaking A's hand and stating their name, optionally in two rounds. A calibrates themselves to the handshake of the other participants. Then, everyone in the small group shakes A's hand again, of course in a different order, and A has to guess to whom the hand belongs.

Make sure to change positions in between so that the direction or any sound doesn’t give away who is coming next. When someone is guessed correctly, they stop shaking hands. If A can no longer identify anyone with certainty or has matched all hands correctly, the next person in line takes over and closes their eyes. The exercise becomes more difficult when the handshake varies.