Metaprogram: Direction of Motivation – Carrot or Stick

Motivation types: Toward and Away From

People motivate themselves in two different ways: They move toward something, i.e., they seek something they want to achieve ("toward"), or they avoid something, i.e., they do something to prevent something unpleasant from happening ("away from").

Seeking

People who move toward something stay focused on their goals. Their thinking is guided by the objectives they want to achieve. They are motivated to obtain or accomplish something. Because they concentrate primarily on goals they wish to reach, they are generally good at managing priorities. They also draw energy and enthusiasm from their goals. People with a strong "toward" pattern often struggle to recognize problems or notice when something should be avoided. In extreme cases, they may seem naïve to others because they do not consider possible obstacles.

Avoiding

These people act primarily to avoid or get rid of unpleasant things. They usually have difficulty focusing on a goal and implementing priorities appropriately. These individuals are easily thrown off balance by negative situations. They react most strongly to threats.

Values

Values represent the things we want to move toward or away from. They are what motivate us the most. Values tell us where to invest our time and energy. To motivate someone, it is very important to know their values.

Classifying Questions

• What do you want?
• What do you wish for in your new job?
• What is most important to you about your house?
• What do you pay the most attention to when buying a car?
• What interests you most in interpersonal relationships?
• What is important to you in your profession?
• What is important to you in your romantic relationship?

(General pattern: What do you want from X? or "What should X do for you?")

Recognizing and Identifying

Seeking People who are motivated by seeking prefer to talk about what they want, what they have planned for the future, what they want to achieve, and so on.

Avoiding People who are motivated by avoiding prefer to talk about what they don’t want, how to best avoid certain situations, or how to change existing unpleasant situations.

Statistical Distribution

Seeking 40%, Seeking and Avoiding 20%, Avoiding 40%

Seeking / Toward / Moving To	Avoiding / Away From / Moving Away
Language Patterns get, achieve, include, win, receive, enable, etc.	avoid, let go, reject, exclude, stay out of, not engage, play it safe, safety.
Sentence Structure talks about what will be gained and achieved Inclusion States what they want, names goals	mentions situations to be avoided or problems that need to be solved Exclusion of unwanted situations and things Problems
Body Language points to things, nods head, inclusive gestures	exclusive gestures, shakes head, arms express desire to avoid or eliminate something

Examples

• toward something: “I would get promoted and be personally satisfied.”
• primarily toward something: “I would get promoted, be personally satisfied, earn more, and not have to travel so much.”
• equally toward something and away from something: “I would be personally satisfied and not have to travel so much anymore.”
• primarily away from something: “I would no longer have to do these routine tasks and would no longer be separated from my family so often. Also, I would get promoted.”
• away from something: “I would get rid of this boring work and all those appointments and wouldn’t have a boss constantly looking over my shoulder.”

Seeking

I’m interested in a bank that truly operates in a customer-oriented way. I want a job where I can express my creativity and that pays well. I want an elegant and comfortable car with reasonable fuel consumption.

Avoiding

I hate having to wait a long time at the bank before it's my turn and having to deal with my bank over every little thing. I absolutely do not want a job where my boss constantly looks over my shoulder. What I hate most about a car is unreliability and frequent repairs.