The Concept of Triads

What is a Triad?

A triad consists of three people who are in contact with each other. There are 7 units of perception and communication: 3 monads (relationship with oneself), 3 dyads (relationship between each pair of people in the triad), and 1 triad. These structural units can be found in every family (mother, father, child), but they also appear in other parts of our lives.

In our original triad (father, mother, child), we learn a lot. Our origin triad has a major influence on the development of our identity and self-esteem. At the beginning of our lives, we are highly dependent and consider our parents omnipotent. This image changes over time, and we develop a more realistic view of our parents. However, our childhood memories don't always reflect reality, as we were already seeking explanations at that time, and our memories are therefore a combination of truth, interpretation, and even fiction.

A major problem within the origin triad is that the child often learns something different in the dyadic relationship than in the triadic relationship (what is allowed with the mother alone is not allowed when both mother and father are present). Since these experiences are made unconsciously at the beginning of our lives, these learning experiences are highly resistant to erasure and are also transferred to other triads and areas of life.

What Characterizes a Healthy Triad?

In a healthy triad, everyone has the opportunity to comment, react, and express their feelings. The relationships are characterized by respect. Another feature is that everyone has the freedom to communicate how they experience the situation and/or have the opportunity to check their perceptions. Additionally, in a healthy triad, there is no pressure to conform. Everyone is free to think, feel, and act as they wish. Another characteristic is that pairings within the triad can happen without danger.

Exercises

Virginia Satir developed a series of exercises that highlight the emotions that arise within a triad. Through these exercises, you can re-experience the old fears and pains from your origin triad and recognize how these have previously prevented you from fully living your life. At the same time, you can learn to communicate better with one another.
Form groups of three, reenact the situations, and then discuss your experiences: